Struggles

 So today I'm going to discuss the struggle this assignment and job can bring at a personal level. This assignment has been incredible and so resourceful and I'm so thankful to been able to do this assignment with such supportive teachers! 

    To begin I had to look up the basic procedures and information for the FBI career choices. As I learned more and more about the requirements I really began to freak out, I knew the job would be a complete challenge but I never knew some of the personal hurdles you battle with inside your mind. At first I read that they record the data of the amount of sit-ups/push-ups you can do in a minute. This information made me freak out, in my opinion I believe I'm fit and healthy but I started thinking that I wasn't good enough to accomplish my dream. I began to train every night pushing my self in unhealthy way to do 200 push-up and sit-ups every night and running 2 miles each night. My body would hurt then next day and feel drained of energy every morning. I knew this was normal for  excessive exercise so I didn't look much into it. I kept on doing the exercise and started feeling worse, when I told my mother the assignment and why I was going to extreme to learn everything the FBI had to learn in a couple of weeks she explained it was one, unhealthy and that the FBI go to years of schooling and don't have to be perfect. With the knowledge I started focusing on book knowledge an information I can learn that can't hurt me physically.

    With physical hurdles I have also had constant mind battles. I have a mind that always makes me want to do things perfectly, and once I know something/ a goal I strive for it immediately and don't want any obstacles in the path. After gaining information about schools for the career an classes, I started to think that I was falling behind and needed to get ahead, I also didn't realize I was 14, not 20! For a couple of weeks I kept wondering and beating my self up about how I'm wasting time in a classroom when I could be in Virginia studying for Washington! This was battle I had to realize then overcome. When I realized I took daily class time at my school to only think about my future ,instead of the information the teacher was teaching , it showed through test scores and how I wasn't focusing on the present. I soon realized this problem and quickly fixed it.

    Though these were minor problems with the assignment, it showed me potential situations that might lead to more stress I have if I follow my dream of becoming an FBI officer. I also realized life is a series of moments called now that make up moments we have in the future. I'm not just learning how to excel in FBI career choices, I'm learning the effect of physical and personal hurdles too! 💜